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When I was a little girl many years ago (haha)., I can
remember going to weddings here in Kansas City. It
was an all day event. The wedding mass would begin
around 9:00 or 10:00, after mass we would have Mexican
bread and hot chocolate, then around 1:00 to 4:00 they
would have the reception with Chicken & Mole,
tortillas, sopa and of course Mexican music or a
Marichi band, then we would go home and rest and get
ready for the big dance that was usually from 8:00 to
12:00 with a full band. Most wedding's I've attended
have nearly 5 to 15 people in the wedding (Catholic
weddings). Just imagine if back then they had that
many people and we were making notations of all those
names or catching a glimpse of our ancestors in huge
weddings. I don't know when the traditions changed
regarding customs and food. If anyone would like to
share info regarding; Wedding Traditions customs/food,
I'm always curious what others experienced in other
towns.
I'm sure everyone remembers having Chicken & Mole at
wedding celebrations...when did this tradition start?
Carol
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Customs of Wedding /Celebrations/Food/
Our family weddings were very much the way you described Carol, with the celebration actually beginning the night before the wedding. On this night the bridesmaids were generally at the brides house finishing up the tissue flowers that were to be strung on the cars, last minute fitting and any other last minute activities that needed to be taken care of. Of course there was a big dinner for all who were in the house. The wedding usually began between 9 and 10 a.m., followed by a breakfast celebration back at the brides home. Like you said the reception would take place from about 1-4p.m.(usually mole and all the fixings was the menu). Then there would be a break until the dance began, usually 8p.m. and ended at 12 a.m. Often, the celebration resumed the next day when gifts were opened in front of as many family/friends as could make it back for another day of celebration. In my family this changed somewhat when my husband and I got married
(almost 35 years ago). First of all we had a relatively small wedding party - only eight couples. We were the last couple in my family to have a morning (9:30 a.m.) church wedding - it's rare to have a Catholic wedding before 12p.m. now a days. The traditional breakfast (pan dulce, chocolate, huevos, pa pitas, tortillas, cafe) followed at my house, but because by this time most banquet locations had started blocking their rental times (we could rent the hall from 12 to 5pm or from 6 to 12pm.), my folks decided to continue the celebration at our house until 4p.m when everyone headed to the hall for the reception. The reception (a buffet, no mole) went from 5-8 and the dance, with a full band, followed from 8-12 (actually it lasted till 1a.m., but by that time were were all delirious from exhaustion we didn't pay much attention to the time). The next day, bright and early, my husband and
I joined family and friends back at my parent's home for menudo and the gift opening. Lots of fun and oh so long ago!!
In 2002 we celebrated our son's wedding and boy, was it different. Smaller wedding party, one limo (no car floral decorations needed), afternoon church ceremony. We still tried to keep some of the traditions, but the schedule was very different. The ceremony began "exactly" at 2:30p.m. and ended at about 3:45 leaving about a two hour break until the reception. The reception location was about an hour away so when they arrived, people had to "hang around" for a while before being allowed into the reception room. Once dinner was over the dancing immediately began (DJ, no band). The celebration continued at our house the next morning with menu do, tamales, etc., and the gift opening.
Olivia
Carol Turner <cmuroturner@yahoo.com> wrote:
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Customs of Wedding /Celebrations/Food/
Who paid for the weddings?
When was it acceptable to ask padrinos to pay for various parts of the
wedding, such as invitations, hall, etc? (I never did this, we landed
paying for the wedding out of our own pockets - mostly because my husband was 35
and I was 30).
Where did the dollar dance originate?
When I got married, I had regular bridesmaids, but I also had "padrinos" de
las adas, rosario, bible, etc. I was told it was quite an honor to ask an
older couple to stand in church with you...it was almost as if we were asking
their blessings....
I read somewhere that the tradition of the double rosary really started
with our indigenous culture - it was a lei of flowers that united the
couple....later it became the large rosary.
I don't know why mole was served, but it was always home made, by the
"best" cook around - you know mole is difficult to master, but if you are good
at it, you would die famous!!!
Esperanza
RE: Customs of Wedding /Celebrations/Food/
I remember my parents
telling me that the groom and his family paid for everything. That
was the case for my parent's wedding, and my brother who married a Mexican girl
from back home. We girls who married in the states shared the cost of our
own weddings with our husbands--our parents (bride's & groom's) paid for
nothing.
My dad would often say,
"Si, quieren que demos la hija y que tambien paguen por darla?"
Of course, my other two
brothers married non-Mexican girls from here whose parents paid for the whole
wedding--the American tradition.Irma's two cents
From: ranchos@yahoogroups.com
[mailto:ranchos@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of
latina1955@aol.com
Sent: Monday, March 06, 2006 3:25
PM
To: ranchos@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [ranchos]
Customs of Wedding /Celebrations/Food/
Who paid for the weddings?
When was it acceptable to ask padrinos to pay for various parts of the
wedding, such as invitations, hall, etc? (I never did this, we landed
paying for the wedding out of our own pockets - mostly because my husband was 35
and I was 30).
Where did the dollar dance originate?
When I got married, I had regular bridesmaids, but I also had "padrinos" de
las adas, rosario, bible, etc. I was told it was quite an honor to ask an
older couple to stand in church with you...it was almost as if we were asking
their blessings....
I read somewhere that the tradition of the double rosary really started
with our indigenous culture - it was a lei of flowers that united the
couple....later it became the large rosary.
I don't know why mole was served, but it was always home made, by the
"best" cook around - you know mole is difficult to master, but if you are good
at it, you would die famous!!!
Esperanza
RE: Customs of Wedding /Celebrations/Food/
Hi Irma:
The tradition of giving your daughter is a good one. During the traditional wedding the question is asked "who giveth this maid?" . Usually it is the father of the bride. The paying for the wedding is also accepted as proper for the bride's parents. I remember reading in a history on this as part of the giving of the dowery of the bride.
In Ireland, it is called her "Fortune". This is the full measure of $60 pnd silver + all that she had saved in her trousough and given by relatives. So yes, a father is expected to pay for the wedding, bestow on her her fortune and, give his daughter in marriage.
I think that the groom is expected to pay for her dress, the honeymood and transportaion.
When Patsy and I got married here in the US, like you, we paid for everything our selves because we too were 27 and 29 resectively. I just was hoping that she would not leave me at the alter. All our parents had to do (I guess yours too) was just to show up.
I can tell you that getting married under any tradition would have been OK with me because it was the best thing that I ever did. If I had known being married was this much fun, I would have married as soon as I could.
I thought your post was a delight to read. It brought up some interesting questions and thoughts. I loved remembering my wedding. Thank you for posting.
With respect,
Zendean
I remember my parents telling me that the groom and his family paid for everything. That was the case for my parent's wedding, and my brother who married a Mexican girl from back home. We girls who married in the states shared the cost of our own weddings with our husbands--our parents (bride's & groom's) paid for nothing.
My dad would often say, "Si, quieren que demos la hija y que tambien paguen por darla?"
Of course, my other two brothers married non-Mexican girls from here whose parents paid for the whole wedding--the American tradition.
Irma's two cents
From: ranchos@yahoogroups.com [mailto:ranchos@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of latina1955@aol.com
Sent: Monday, March 06, 2006 3:25 PM
To: ranchos@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [ranchos] Customs of Wedding /Celebrations/Food/
Who paid for the weddings?
When was it acceptable to ask padrinos to pay for various parts of the wedding, such as invitations, hall, etc? (I never did this, we landed paying for the wedding out of our own pockets - mostly because my husband was 35 and I was 30).
Where did the dollar dance originate?
When I got married, I had regular bridesmaids, but I also had "padrinos" de las adas, rosario, bible, etc. I was told it was quite an honor to ask an older couple to stand in church with you...it was almost as if we were asking their blessings....
I read somewhere that the tradition of the double rosary really started with our indigenous culture - it was a lei of flowers that united the couple....later it became the large rosary.
I don't know why mole was served, but it was always home made, by the "best" cook around - you know mole is difficult to master, but if you are good at it, you would die famous!!!
Esperanza
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Customs of Wedding /Celebrations/Food/
Irma and Esperanza,
My husband was fond of most Mexican traditions, and when asked to be in a
wedding, he gladly paid the share he was asked to pay, but when it came to our
own wedding, he liked the American idea of the bride and her family paying for
everything, except the rehearsal dinner. My sister and my sister in law
were my only attendants, and the mass was very simple, no rosary,
etc. There was no rehearsal dinner and no dance. My mother had a
local deli cater the afternoon reception and we had cold sandwiches, and potato
salad. The reception was in the garden of my parent's home and since they
were tight with their money and teetotalers, my father had to give one of my
cousins money to go buy beer for the young men when they asked where the beer
was. The wedding toast was given with a soft drink, but the cake was
nice. My parents and I paid for everything. His mother did come down
from Alaska to her home in Silicon Valley and she threw me a wedding
shower.
My husband did go to a jewelry store and he picked out our rings and
charged them and made a down payment. About a month after our marriage,
when the first payment came due, he handed me the payment book for the
ring! I made the payments, and if I wanted to live like my folks did, I
had to work for the next 35 years, ha, ha.
I also wonder where the custom of giving money to the bride at the dance
started. I noticed that Italians did the same thing, except that the
bride carried a purse that matched her dress and men put money in there
instead of pinning paper money on her veil.
I had been to weddings where there was a good cook who made mole, etc., but
mostly what we got was some kind of shredded meat, beans and rice, and flour
tortillas. There would be an hour of mariachis and then recorded music for
the dance, or a live band that played a variety of music. Sometimes there
was too much beer and the young bucks would duke it out in the parking lot and
someone would get hurt. All in all, everyone had a good time.
Haven't been to one of those for years.
Emilie's two cents.