Emilie,
It doesn't cease to amaze me what secrets do to the human spirit and to families. It should be so much easier to deal with whatever ails us if we could only put it out there. Once things are out they are out, and not a thing people can do about it. After all we can't change the past and we can't go back and change things. What's done is done!! I'm so glad my family was able to deal with my great grandfather's second family and accept them, after all they are family?? Of course, to this day, there are still those who want to keep the undesirable secret or so they think, the more you try to keep it a secret, the more tantalizing it becomes.

Your Aunt Emilia is probably peeling off the weight of all those family members who have gone before her.
My applause to Aunt Emilia, for letting it out and freeing all those trapped spirits.

Thanks for sharing,
Alicia

________________________________
From: Emilie Garcia
To: general@nuestrosranchos.org
Sent: Tuesday, February 24, 2009 5:46:23 PM
Subject: Re: [Nuestros Ranchos] Why are we doing Genealogy

Alicia,

Re skeletons in the family closet: back in the 1980s when my mother and all her siblings were still alive, I found my mother and her only sister Emilia reluctant to tell me how one of their cousins was related to them---whose daughter was she. My mother and my aunt looked at each other as if to say, "should we tell her?". It was like pulling hen's teeth at first but I finally got it out of them that this cousin's mother was the daughter of a mistress of my great-grandfather. Now my mother and all her siblings are gone, except for Aunt Emilia, and she is spilling all the beans, no holds barred anymore. It is almost with glee, since everyone else is gone, that she is telling where all the bodies are buried. Also, all my research has uncovered many more "secrets".

Emilie
----- Original Message -----
From: Alicia Carrillo
To: general@nuestrosranchos.org
Sent: Sunday, February 22, 2009 3:27 PM
Subject: [Nuestros Ranchos] Why are we doing Genealogy

Jonathan,

What a great question to ask the group............I have enjoyed reading everyone's postings and the various reasons for beginning to do Genealogical research and the reasons for continuing to do research.

Thanks everyone for sharing so openly and honestly, it makes for a great book on Genealogy.

Now another question, is anyone in your family offended because you do family research and with the findings??
Meaning dark skeleton's in the family closet that may or may not have been intentional findings.

Thanks again to everyone, great reading.
Alicia

Alice,
I have not seen libro reservado yet for Nochistlan, but I'm sure it must exist somewhere. Some of the indiscretions of some of my ancestors are well know and documented. There's an entire branch of my GGgrandfather's children that are recorded in Hijos Naturales with both parents duly noted, nothing hidden there. We have always known of his second family.

It's a great topic for discussion when we gather with that branch of the family.

I would say that for the most part, most of us just want to know where we come from, about our ancestors and what makes us who we are, our customs, traditions, culture and heritage, everything else is just the icing on the cake.

Alicia

________________________________
From: AliceBB
To: general@nuestrosranchos.org
Sent: Sunday, February 22, 2009 10:21:14 PM
Subject: Re: [Nuestros Ranchos] Why are we doing Genealogy

No apology needed. I would think that anyone honestly researching genealogy would expect to find such things. As of now, I've only researched a couple of years, 1856-58, in Aguas, Aguas, on the pilot site, and I'll admit that at first I was surprised, but now I'm mostly intrigued at how many "libro recervado", "no se dice", and "N." for last name entries there are. Recently, I asked the group if anyone knew how to access such "libro recervado" information and received no response. With so many entries, I can't believe that no one within our group has family members hidden away in a "libro recervado". I'd love to know. These mysteries make genealogy all the more interesting! Alice BB
--- rricci@lausd.net wrote:

From: "Ricci, Richard"
To:
Subject: Re: [Nuestros Ranchos] Why are we doing Genealogy
Date: Sun, 22 Feb 2009 21:35:38 -0800

I am sorry if I offended anyone with my response. I did not mean to offend anyone with these details. I have been wrestling with disclosing these details and being completely honest with the people who ask me questions about their family. By partially disclosing this way I guess I am testing the waters as to whether or not I should have full disclosure.
________________________________

From: general-bounces@lists.nuestrosranchos.org on behalf of Ricci, Richard
Sent: Sun 2/22/2009 8:31 PM
To: general@nuestrosranchos.org
Subject: Re: [Nuestros Ranchos] Why are we doing Genealogy

Dear Alicia,

How do i answer your question regarding skeletons?
Let me start by saying that one of the reasons that Jaime Holcombe was such a great genealogist, besides his work ethic and his meticulous attention to detail, was his ability to work through, discover and report the skeletons that he came across. He did not find all of them, but he reported the ones he did find.
In the valle de guadalupe we have have had some excellent genealogist that have gained some recognition for their work, I am not embarassed to say that I am one of them. I am embarassed about the next part. For such a small town with so many genealogist gaining some fame, there is a lack of truthful reportimg in some of the genealogies. MMy tio doctor Rito Romo never published his writings because he kept putting it off as he wrestled with this queston, His wife, my aunt, was afraid that he would reveal famliy secrets. A book was recently published by a genealogist from the Valle that every one praises (except for typograhical eroors, picture captions naming the wrong person) that leaves out the genelogy in his own family because of these skeletons. He did not put in print details that led to the killing of his father or his wifes parents data . Another genealogist recently told me he was going to write a big book on the town. Will he include the incest
that resulted in chil
dren growing up to be upstanding citizens in the community that probably don't want to know that their biological grand father was their mother's maternal uncle.
What about that great uncle out on the ranch, his wife is really his oldest daughter, His first wife died when his daughter was young. The oldest took on the cares of raising her siblings and performing other wifely duties adding mores children. Who is going to tell them?
How about the biggest financial donator to the town. Who is going to reports that he and, his women claim that he has fathered 35 children in his lifetime . Do they all get listed in the records?
What about the genealogist that should know that his brothers child is not his biological child, A few people know and the genalogist should have figured it out Does he tell his brother or keep quiet? How about the family that keeps repeating that they know that their family name was changed from its original? Do you tell them the real reason why? When these people are second and third cousins do you write anything down?
How about the family that hides other secrets ?
How about the genealogist that had a father that was the result of an affair between a fortyish widow and a teenager. The mother died soon after and the child was raised by his aunt
I know many more. If I ever write the book about my town I could not do a thorough book
________________________________

From: general-bounces@lists.nuestrosranchos.org on behalf of Alicia Carrillo
Sent: Sun 2/22/2009 3:27 PM
To: general@nuestrosranchos.org
Subject: [Nuestros Ranchos] Why are we doing Genealogy

Jonathan,

What a great question to ask the group............I have enjoyed reading everyone's postings and the various reasons for beginning to do Genealogical research and the reasons for continuing to do research.

Thanks everyone for sharing so openly and honestly, it makes for a great book on Genealogy.

Now another question, is anyone in your family offended because you do family research and with the findings??
Meaning dark skeleton's in the family closet that may or may not have been intentional findings.

Thanks again to everyone, great reading.
Alicia

Richard,

I didn't intend to pry in to sensitive material for anyone......just wondered if this was problematic for anyone else. I know in my family there is a lot of lore that has some truth to it and I've been asked by some family relations "why are you doing this"? Some believe that I'm trying to uncover some dirt and that has never been my intention.

As far as I know there are a couple of other distant family members doing Genealogy but I have yet to meet them in person. Most of the family is intrigued by the findings and how it is that we can trace our ancestry. It has been a pleasure to share what I have with different branches of the family. To see the wonderment in their eyes when they see the actual documents that trace back several generations and to hear them say, no wonder my father or mother used to say, "THIS IS YOUR TIO OR TIA or YOUR COUSIN" but I never knew how they were related to me.

I did find one skeleton but rather than flinch, they were intrigued and wanted to know more about my Ggrandfather's out of wedlock child and where might they find this individual and his descendants.

Thanks Ricci,

Saludos,
Alicia, San Jose, Calif

________________________________
From: "Ricci, Richard"
To: general@nuestrosranchos.org
Sent: Sunday, February 22, 2009 8:31:46 PM
Subject: Re: [Nuestros Ranchos] Why are we doing Genealogy

Dear Alicia,

How do i answer your question regarding skeletons?
Let me start by saying that one of the reasons that Jaime Holcombe was such a great genealogist, besides his work ethic and his meticulous attention to detail, was his ability to work through, discover and report the skeletons that he came across. He did not find all of them, but he reported the ones he did find.
In the valle de guadalupe we have have had some excellent genealogist that have gained some recognition for their work, I am not embarassed to say that I am one of them. I am embarassed about the next part. For such a small town with so many genealogist gaining some fame, there is a lack of truthful reportimg in some of the genealogies. MMy tio doctor Rito Romo never published his writings because he kept putting it off as he wrestled with this queston, His wife, my aunt, was afraid that he would reveal famliy secrets. A book was recently published by a genealogist from the Valle that every one praises (except for typograhical eroors, picture captions naming the wrong person) that leaves out the genelogy in his own family because of these skeletons. He did not put in print details that led to the killing of his father or his wifes parents data . Another genealogist recently told me he was going to write a big book on the town. Will he include the incest
that resulted in chil
dren growing up to be upstanding citizens in the community that probably don't want to know that their biological grand father was their mother's maternal uncle.
What about that great uncle out on the ranch, his wife is really his oldest daughter, His first wife died when his daughter was young. The oldest took on the cares of raising her siblings and performing other wifely duties adding mores children. Who is going to tell them?
How about the biggest financial donator to the town. Who is going to reports that he and, his women claim that he has fathered 35 children in his lifetime . Do they all get listed in the records?
What about the genealogist that should know that his brothers child is not his biological child, A few people know and the genalogist should have figured it out Does he tell his brother or keep quiet? How about the family that keeps repeating that they know that their family name was changed from its original? Do you tell them the real reason why? When these people are second and third cousins do you write anything down?
How about the family that hides other secrets ?
How about the genealogist that had a father that was the result of an affair between a fortyish widow and a teenager. The mother died soon after and the child was raised by his aunt
I know many more. If I ever write the book about my town I could not do a thorough book
________________________________

From: general-bounces@lists.nuestrosranchos.org on behalf of Alicia Carrillo
Sent: Sun 2/22/2009 3:27 PM
To: general@nuestrosranchos.org
Subject: [Nuestros Ranchos] Why are we doing Genealogy

Jonathan,

What a great question to ask the group............I have enjoyed reading everyone's postings and the various reasons for beginning to do Genealogical research and the reasons for continuing to do research.

Thanks everyone for sharing so openly and honestly, it makes for a great book on Genealogy.

Now another question, is anyone in your family offended because you do family research and with the findings??
Meaning dark skeleton's in the family closet that may or may not have been intentional findings.

Thanks again to everyone, great reading.
Alicia